The Secret and Ancient Art Of
by PyroStorm
Summary: Gift for Bewarethedarkness. We find out the real reason why Seto Kaiba brings his briefcase everywhere. It's a crackfic, so don't take it seriously.


**Another gift(crack)fic for Bewarethedarkness. It's something that we've had an in-joke about for ... a long time. So hope you enjoy, pal!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YuGiOh.**

_Click. Click. Click. Click._

The harsh click of boots on stone echoed down the hallway, disturbing the peaceful atmosphere. No other sound could be heard in the secret labyrinth of rooms and passages. Only the repetitive clicks were heard.

They were heard all too clearly by one Seto Kaiba, who was quickly getting irritated with his noisy (and very expensive) boots. He didn't mind if they clicked when he was prowling the hallways of KaibaCorp's building, making sure that employees were working their fingers to the bone – then they clicked _menacingly._ Here they just clicked, and no-one else but he could here them.

_And they were driving him insane_. He's come to this secret place with it's confusing corridors and lack of maps to learn more about the secret art (he didn't understand why everything had to be secret either; secret room, secret tunnel or secret whatever), not spend all day wandering through a giant maze looking for one single room with only clicking boots for company! At least it only happened once every three months.

(You must understand that Seto Kaiba is a very proud person. So he'd never admit that he was, in fact, lost – he was simply taking the long way around – because he didn't want to ask for directions.)

_Click. Click. Click._ He walked on.

* * *

It would be fair to say that Kaiba had been going in the vague direction of his meeting (due to start in fifteen minutes). It would also be fair to say that he was no longer annoyed by his clicking boots.

Life is rarely fair. He was going in completely the wrong direction and his boots were driving him insane. Absolutely crazy, insane, loopy, mad.

_Click. Click. Click._ It was everywhere! His eye twitched as the clicking seemed to grow louder, echoing around his head. He stopped in the middle of the hallway, set his briefcase down and removed his boots revealing mismatched socks (one with little wads of money, the other with Kuriboh dotted all over).

He put the neatly next to each other and picked his briefcase up, stepped back and ignored the fact that he could feel the cold stone floor through his socks. There was a tense silence for a moment as icy eyes gazed at black leather. The briefcase was shifted from left hand to right. Another brief silence-

-which was shattered by a shrill yell as Kaiba leapt towards the boots, briefcase poised to smack the annoying clickers into oblivion.

"Attention!"

Kaiba whipped around at the interruption to see a man with stupidly pointy hair standing calmly by a wall, holding a brown leather briefcase. He looked vaguely familiar to Kaiba, but he didn't really care.

"The meeting is about to start. My hair will lead the way" he said, and walked off in the proper direction of the meeting room. Kaiba picked up his boots and followed, no clicks accompanying him.

* * *

The meeting room had turned out to be more of a semi-circular seating area, which currently held four-hundred businesspeople, with a stage and a large screen in front of it. A balding man was currently trying to get the attention of the assembled CEOs, lawyers and various other businesspeople. He wasn't being very successful, even with a microphone. Everyone was too busy talking about profits, firing people and money to listen to him.

"Shut up or you're all fired!" he yelled into the microphone. **That** got their attention. Conversations were quickly drawn to a close, and they all faced the stage.

"Thank you." The man announced, and then cleared his throat. "In this quarter's meeting, we shall be learning how to defeat this-"he pointed at the screen, and it suddenly flared to life to show an image. Screams and yells came from the audience, while several burst into tears. Kaiba's eyes narrowed. "My mortal enemy …" he whispered.

The balding man continued over the audiences hysterics. "-The Blue Screen of Death using the secret and ancient art" he held up a tatty grey suitcase "of Briefcase-kwan-do! The ancient art of bashing things in with briefcases!"

Cheers replaced screams, and everyone (Kaiba included) raised their briefcases and shouted the ancient battlecry;

"**You're fired!**"

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed somehow!**


End file.
